Whoa... Halt right there! CLEAR!!!
Now take two steps back and one to the left... That's how close everything seems right now for
you and me, for us from the big 90's. When everything seemed to be lost in our puzzling mind maze, all of a sudden times came back this evening. All of a sudden we decided to write... no, actually type... but it doesn't matter after all...
'Remember?' - this is how our conversation started and ended hours after we realized that it was already late, it was dark outside and those noisy kids had already stopped playing football, well... actually soccer in our yard... And we had a pleasant feeling that we existed, that we meant something to each other at least.
And I remembered our generation, unique and original, the first one born in freedom... and brought up on the first bitter drops of sky-high dreams. However we were told that with our birth fridges were emptied, gas was cut, electricity was gone. But this is how the freedom tastes at first I guess... You wanted to be a soldier in order to be able to save your country from enemies... I wanted to be a journalist... I just liked asking questions and never having to answer to the same questions myself... We changed... We disappeared in the materialistic clouds and started walking with the same pace and rhythm as others did. In other words we started lying... to ourselves.
Memories never fade away... and we still remember... those little things that meant the whole world to us... like that fist color TV that looked so big and wonderful to us. And those prejudices that kids weren't allowed to watch TV... We still managed to sneak in the room full of neighbors watching soap operas together on the floor. Kasandra, the girl in love in those series, was every girl's role model at school. With the 20 tetris mom gave to us to get some ice-cream at school, we secretely bought Kasandra's stickers in the newly opened Supermarket across the street. I placed those stickers in my memory book on the top of each page. I let only my best friends fill out that page... Not anybody else...
Once in a while, when our uncles and aunts were on a good mood (in case they were drunk) we got extra money 'to buy candy' as they said. We never did... we were different from others... we never liked sweets. Remember that set of pockemons we got to play with our classmates. In that game I won. Kids came up to me giving all their pockemons... new ones... with sad eyes... like the whole world ended to them. I never liked looking into people's eyes. If I cought that they were said, I would feel guilty. Then I suffered... I accidentally looked into one of the girl's eyes while she was handing me her 6 pockemons. She was on the edge of crying. That was the last drop. I remember that second when I climbed up on the desk and announced I was giving all pockemons won by me in the game back to their former owners. They came one after another. I gave them everything... You called me stupid... One word was enough for me to start crying, to regret what people call kindness now... I cried... And we walked home on the different sides of the road never saying a word to each other.
Remember our classroom? With a wood stove that was rarely lit by anyone. It was cold all the time and we sat with our coats on, some of us - with gloves... I always forgot them, that's why my hands are still red and cold every time it gets a little cold... I loved math... The teacher gave us exercises to be done individually in class. I never liked groupwork. Thus, this was a right thing for me. I was always first to finish... You were always the one who had right answers in case I did it wrong. My red hands were covered by white chalk by the end of the class... Because I wrote the solutions on the board.
Remember those Kinder eggs? One bright evening dad brought me 75 eggs. You came over... We opened all 75 of them at a time. I gave you the cars... I left dolls for myself... Typical boy and girl situation. We ate all the chocolate that day... Kinder surprise was something that still stayed as bright as it was the first day... I put all my kinder toys on the top of our piano... They were there until my mom thought that I was too old for them and threw them away... When I came home, I cried... then I forgot...
Remember those wholes on the Stalin Street? The one on which we walked every day? After the rain they were all filled with water. We tried to jump over them as fast as possible. That was our next competition I never managed to win... This evening you told me we had to do that again... I said that was a cool idea...Then I realized that there are no wholes on that road any more... They were cut in square shapes and filled when we were in our teenage years. Remember when I decided to make a flower garder in my yard? You stole the flowers from your mom's garden and brought them to me. You helped me in watering them every day... We were happy...
Remember when i left? You didn't say anything... Didn't even come to say good-bye. I thought about you... I even thought I would come over to your house and ask to look after my flowers... Because mom wouldn't, I was quite sure... Then I realized, you would be busy doing your own work... busy growing up... Then I left with a smiling face and a long jump in the future... Now, this evening, when we went back, we found everything happened to us incredible... 90's that will remain in our minds for ever... especially when time comes to sit by the fireplace and eat sunflower seeds.
